


Want

by LaMorenadelAtl



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: But also cocky Connor, Cunnilingus, F/M, Oneshot, Post Ending, Post Revolution, Sad Boy Conner
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-19
Updated: 2018-06-19
Packaged: 2019-05-25 10:58:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14975732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaMorenadelAtl/pseuds/LaMorenadelAtl
Summary: If humanity is shaped by desire, and Connor RK800 wants you, whose more human between the two of you? Some philosophical nonsense punctuated by Connor giving amazing head and proving that duty and desire aren't so different after all.





	Want

“Connor.” You put your hand on his shoulder, and felt the muscles tighten reflexively beneath your hand. You never knew where he goes when he does this. It’s like he’s there, with you, and suddenly he’s not. His brown eyes goes pale and his responses automatic, lacking the curious or intense tones Connor normally took on. Normal for you, of course. You didn’t know him before he became deviant. Or, “woke,” as people oft said these days. If it wasn’t for the blinking LED light on the side of his head he refused to remove – it was as much a part of who he is as his deviancy, he had told her once – he’d look as “human” as anyone else.

 

“Yes?” The color had returned to his eyes by the time he turned around to look at you. The depth of what you saw there had you avert your eyes and remove your hand. “You ready to go?”

 

He nodded and the two of you stepped out of the hardware shop, the paper bag holding your new set of keys tight in hand. The car doors opened as you approached, sensing the key in your wallet, and the two of you sat in the back.

 

“The house, please.” You told the car when prompted. Ever since the android revolution, you were reconsidering every relationship you had with something that wasn’t “alive.” Your car was a machine, and its automatic processes were just that, automatics, based on programming you input. Is that what it meant to be alive? Making your own choices? If that was the case, some of us had never truly been alive at all.

 

Connor’s voice broke through your thoughts. “Are you happy?” The question startled you, and you darted a look at him, unsure of how to answer. Usually when he made a situation awkward, Connor would immediately butt back in, trying to explain himself and relieve the tension. But this time he held your gaze and let the weight of his question sit in the car. Unable to find a way out, you pondered it.

 

“I, well.” Happy? Did he mean it like, had no problems happy? Fulfilled happy? Positive attitude happy? Happy with work? With family? With love? “I think so. Don’t see me out here trying to change anything, so I guess that means I’m pretty content.” He hummed over your answer for a few seconds. When he spoke again his eyes were trained on the road ahead.

 

“So, to you, if you’re happy, you aren’t trying to make changes?” The way he said it made you start a little.

 

“No. Changes are inevitable, right? Part of the dynamic energy that makes life worth living.” You also turned your head straight, seeing the cars pass you by. “But if I were unhappy, for me, you’re right, my MO is drastic change. New hair, new city, new lover, all that.”

 

It wasn’t one of your best qualities, by far. Your mother had thought it was just a rebellious streak that would leave when you matured a little. But it stayed when you made the last minute decision to drop the safe state school 20 minutes away for a college on the other side of the country. It stayed when you almost got caught in the middle of a very dangerous pagan cult when you got engaged for the first time. And it stayed when you moved back home, to Detroit, and threw your Biology degree in the trash to work as a high school counselor. No, change was a very real beast in your world. But you reveled in the underbelly. You thrived in it.

 

Why was he asking you this? You two had become friends over the past few months. As a part of the national initiative to integrate androids into society as people, not machines, many had been encouraged to participate in the human world. It turned out that Connor’s infamous coin tricks translated into excellent ball handling on the basketball court. In his free time, he was the assistant boys’ basketball coach at your high school. While wary at first, the kids grew to love his impish behavior and honest integrity. One of your kids, Eric, had invited you to watch their homecoming game, and you and Connor had met at the bathroom during half time. You both shared an ardent love for your students, and that had developed into lunch dates, then weekend hangouts, and settled into an easy friendship. Still, sometimes your friend Connor could unnerve you in a way few, if any, men were able.

 

 

His lips twisted and he turned to you, the flex of his jaw catching your attention before you moved to look up into his eyes.

 

“I don’t think I’m happy.”

 

Well, shit. Ya’ll weren’t as close of friends as you thought, apparently. Nothing from the past few months had made you think he wasn’t happy. He seemed delighted at every game, watching the team grow and flourish as the season went on. He was currently working on a particularly exciting case with Hank he seemed to relish in discussing, as much as legally could, with you. He’d even picked up baking. But as a counselor, you knew that what people showed on the surface didn’t quite always bely their true feelings. Reading people came easy for you. But, you guessed, it was a little different with androids.

 

He took your silence as a cue to continue. “Don’t get me wrong, I love working with the kids. And with Hank. And with JERICHO.”

 

JERICHO, named after the android safehaven of the war past, now stood for Joined Ensemble Regarding Interspecies Change and Opportunity. It was an organization comprised of android and humans that worked to further the android agenda of tolerance, peace, and acceptance. You thought Connor worked with their Legal division, providing free legal consulting to the many androids now seeking restitution, among other things.

 

“But there’s this feeling that I keep having. Like I’m missing out on something very, very important, and I don’t know what it is.”

 

You opened your mouth to respond, but before you could the car’s monotone navigation voice beeped out a “Destination arrived.” You and Connor exited, and you stuck your fresh key inside the door to your condo. The pleasure of being home, warm and defended from the elements lasted until you remembered what you and Connor were talking about. You settled into the couch and invited him to follow suit with a pat. You pulled out the wine, drinking glasses, and the two snuggly blankets you had set aside for tonight’s movie night with Connor earlier. But as much as you wanted to bundle up and get lost in hopefully another RomCom, Connor’s strangeness kept toying at your mind.

 

“When did you start feeling this…unhappiness?” You poured two glasses full of sweet dark wine, and pulled out a large bag of chocolates as well. You chewed on one thoughtfully as he responded.

 

“I first noticed it after the revolution, I think. My own subconscious awareness of my deviancy had always been a bit of a burden, in the past.” He brought the cup up to his lips and swallowed. The bob of his adam’s apple was distracting. Connor said he could taste, but had only recently discovered pleasure in flavors. You wondered what flavors were his favorite.

 

“And then I accepted it. I became my own man. A man. A human being who made my own choices and could do whatever the hell I pleased.”

 

Hank was clearly influencing him.

 

“But now there’s a different sort of emptiness. The opposite, maybe. For so long I had a mission, a drive that kept me going. I was built to serve a purpose. And in a way, I served that purpose. That part of my programming can’t just go away because I want it to.” He set the glass down and raked a hand through his hair. You had no idea this had been distressing him for so long. How could you have not seen it before?

 

“So I wanna know what keeps humans going. I know for some, it’s religion. Others, the joy of hedonism. But for someone like me, like you, who tends toward caution and routine, what makes you happy? Why do you deal with so much shit every day instead of…” He trailed off.

 

The more childish part of you bristled at the fact he basically called you boring. Sure, your life wasn’t filled with race cars and sex android, but.

 

You got his point, however. He wondered what all people, everywhere, had wondered for ages. Why are we here? Some people had thought a few decades back we were here to create androids. The day we, the children of a god, became gods ourselves, was the pinnacle of life. Androids would replace us in this world and that would be the right of it. You never gave the idea too much thought, if only because, because…

 

“It doesn’t matter, Connor.” The three little wrinkles on his forehead deepened as he looked at you.

 

“There might be a million reasons why people, any people, are here. As easily as there might be none. We have to make our own reasons. The life we choose for ourselves, that keeps us going. Mine is the kids. For so long I let myself get lost and it wasn’t until someone relied on me, needed me, that I realized that this world is so much bigger than myself, but it couldn’t be the same without me either.”

 

You took his hands in yours and squeezed, your voice even softer than usual, the voice you used with especially troubled students. “You matter so much Connor. The fact you’re here today means something gets you out of bed in the morning.”

 

He asked you your own question before you had fully formed the thought.

 

“Do you wanna know what it is?” His face leaned toward yours and the heat of his body made you tamper down a squirm. Connor was your friend, dammit. Gorgeous, kind, and thoughtful, but he is so innocent in so many things. You refused to ruin what you had built with him because your lusts were determined to destroy you. You nodded gently.

 

You felt the warmth of his lips against yours before you even registered what was happening. Connor was kissing you. The Connor that brought you pizza bites that one time you forgot to pick up something for dinner. The Connor that blushed that light blue color every time someone in public stopped him to ask for his autograph. That Connor had his mouth burning into yours and had pulled your joined hands to his hard chest. Wicked pleasure shot down your spine and your mind fogged, all the reason why this was a bad idea melting away as he deepened the kiss. But one thought forced it’s way the forefront and made you break away.

 

Connor was easily the nicest guy in the world short the RA you had had freshman year. He would give anything to anyone, if they asked. And after becoming woke, he was able to act on his own desires. But as he had just admitted, he wasn’t sure how many of his desires were truly his own.

 

Did he want you, in truth? Or did he just want to acquiesce your obvious infatuation with him? You probably had showed signs of your burgeoning crush and he decided to make life a little easier for you. Because he was Connor and that’s what he does.

 

From what you’d been told by a few of your android students, even after deviancy the concept of want, of desire was deeply muddled with obligation and duty. They were a unique race of people that operated differently. That didn’t make their opinions any less valid. But if his desire for you was an obligation you couldn’t possibly-

 

A old little tune popped in your head, the lyrics making the pit in the base of your stomach sink even deeper.

 

            _I want you to want me_

_I need you to need me_

_I’d love for you to love me_

That was it, wasn’t it? As much as you wanted this, you and all the human romance you had bumbled your way through had taught you that your partner being with you wasn’t simply enough. You had had more than your fair share of relationships where one of you had settled. You couldn’t help it. It was nice to feel wanted, honestly desired.

 

“I can’t, Connor.” You told him. You could see the confusion flash across his face, but you scooted back to make some space between you two on the couch, allowing yourself a few seconds to cool off.

 

“I don’t understand.” Connor said. “I was under the impression you desired me, romantically.”

 

The cut and dry nature of his statement felt like acid flung over your chest. You desired him. That’s what this was.

 

“Maybe I do.” You sniffed. “But wanting and having don’t always go together.”

 

His groan of frustration vibrated under your skin, making you fight the urge to flee what was quickly devolving into the exact conversation you never wanted to have since the day you met his fine ass.

 

“Why not? Do I not make you happy.” There was a touch of vulnerability in his voice that made you pause and weaken. Damn him.

 

“Of course you do Connor. You’ve been such a good friend to me since the day we met so-“

 

“So why would you not want to pursue this,” he waved his hand between you two. “With me? Is friendship not the backbone of a promising relationship?”

 

Tired of his questioning, you decided to turn the tables onto him. “Why do you want to do this,” you repeated his gesture with even more exaggeration “With me then? Just because I might have feelings for you says nothing about how you feel about me.”

 

His incredulous look disquieted you, the heat in his eyes leaving a trail of fire that made you shudder.

 

“I just told you, you’re the reason I get up in the morning. How is that not feelings?”

 

The silence that hung in the air could’ve been tied around your wrists for how helpless you were feeling in this argument. In what fantasy world did a guy like that tell a girl like you that you were the reason he woke up each day?

 

You weren’t raised without healthy self-confidence but you were never under the delusion that you were a show stopper looks-wise. Your intelligence was pretty average for your peers and you thought yourself as vain and dishonorable as any other Detroitian. You’ve had a man write you poetry about how the love he held for you rivaled that of the ocean for the moon, and he had still cheated on you. But neither event had taken your breath away the way Connor had did in a single sentence.

 

Your mind, however, would not let you waver from the truth that was yet still etched in the space between you too. He cared for you and would do anything to see you happy, that much was now evident. The issue was that he cared for you so much he’d put you above his other needs.

 

“Connor,” you said gently, rising from your seat to look down at him. This time your voice was the one you used when two of the kids would break into a shouting matching in the hallways that seemed on the verge of turning to blows. It was a voice that could talk somebody off a ledge, a mentor of yours had told you once.

 

“I’m not saying you don’t have feelings. What I’m saying is that have you considered if they’re actually your own?”

 

His expression implored you to explain further.

 

“You are such a good, good man. You would give your life for anyone, if they asked. That’s just who you are. Some of it programming, some of it Connor. Regardless, it’s possible that you don’t want me because _you_ want me. You want me because I want you and you want to see me happy.”

 

When you finished, it was all you could do to not let your shoulders sag in relief, piece said. That damned beautiful face of his got closer as he stalked toward you, long legs stopping inches from yours in a second.

 

“You think I don’t want you?” He purred low, and you shivered. You glared at him and used a version of the same line you used on your seniors who tried to pursue freshman: “Just because you can mimic seduction doesn’t mean you actually want to see where it takes you, or that you’re ready for it, Connor.”

 

Clearly, those were the wrong words, as you felt your knees buckle when he quickly pressed you back down into the couch. You were seated and he had one hand braced next to your ear on the back cushion and the other rubbing a soft thumb across your face. His body was so close to yours you felt the skin beneath your leggings prickle.

 

“I don’t think you understand the true nature of deviancy.” Fuck, could he always make his voice do that? The hand that rested on your face gripped your chin and bade you to look into those dark eyes that struck you blind every time.

 

“’Androids don’t want to be like humans. We’re not, and never will be. I can’t explain how my desire works to you. All you need to know is that it makes my blood run as hot as yours. It makes me want to take your lips the same way I see your eyes begging to take mine. It made me realizes that what I’ve been searching for this whole time was the this thing between us.”

 

Your lack of understand must have shown on your face, because he smirked at you and leaned in even closer, until his face was inches from yours, chests touching.

 

“I was unhappy because I don’t _want_ to just be your friend. I want to be your world. The same way you’ve become mine.”

 

You couldn’t have processed his words even if you wanted to because he sealed his declaration with a scorching kiss that shot into you like fireworks. Your hands tangled in his hair and he pressed his full self against you, making you moan from the blessed weight of him, the feel of his form against yours.

 

You could hardly believe that somebody who made you feel this good also returned your feelings, though in his own android way, you suppose.

 

The hot kiss turned hotter and his tongue found yours and the bliss you felt increased with every passing moment. Connor pulled away just long enough to wrap you around himself before you lifted you easily and carried you to your bedroom. He set you down none too gently, which suited you just fine.

 

You both raced to undress yourselves, pausing every so often for another kiss or a playful squeeze. As soon as you had slipped your panties off Connor was on you like a hound. But you returned his kiss with equal fervor, writhing under the skilled hands that began to play with your breasts. Connor pulled back to sit on his haunches and stare at you.

 

“God, beautiful.” He said. Your blush was short lived when his tongue met the pulse at your neck, making you squeak. His hands roamed your body, and you began to do the same. The hard lines of his chest and abdomen felt insanely good under your hands. You pulled at his back, his biceps, anything you could get your hands on simply because you couldn’t stop yourself if you tried. It was instinct, something it seemed Connor had a bit of when he reached his hand between your legs.

 

You opened up from him, choking back a shocked moan when his mouth met your breast and his hand your nub in remarkable well-choreographed unison. Your sense were under assault from his attention and it was perfection.

 

His mouth ran down your body, using the hand not busy ravishing you to continue the attention at your chest. He licked and sucked at the soft flesh of your thighs and you sighed, “Connor.”

 

The man seemed to be purposefully avoiding the junction between your thighs however. He pressed a finger into you and you both groaned low at the tight, hot sensation.

 

In and out he pushed, never once wavering no matter where his mouth strayed. Great didn’t even begin to describe how you felt with Connor between your legs, worshipping you.

 

You didn’t even notice you had closed your eyes until you felt his mouth hot and urgent against you and then you gasped, the heat of his lips shocking you. He used his strong hands to hold down your hips and began to lick. Over and over he tasted you while you whined and thrashed under him. When his talented little tongue found your nub you cried out “Connor, please, please. I need.”

 

“What do you need?”

 

You moaned low again and bucked your hips at him. The sight of his self-satisfied smile while he had your cunt still in his mouth, his dark hair rubbing against the thighs you had pulled against his head, had you on the verge.

 

“I need to…I need to..”

 

He hummed sweetly. “I know. I need you too.” And with that, he became a man possessed. He lapped with an expertise that you doubt even the androids at Eden had. His moved his hands to pulls at your breasts again. It felt like his hands and mouth were everywhere. The strength and speed of his tongue was of a caliber you had never felt. Maybe that article was right. Android sex really is best.

 

Your pleasure loomed higher and higher above until sparks seemed to flash in front of your eyes. With one last wail, you broke free and felt wave after wave of scorching heat and indescribable satisfaction roll through your entire body. He kept up his ministrations even as you bucked into him in your release.

 

When it finally ended, the happiness that could only be found right after what may have been the most brilliant orgasm of your life made you sag into the bed. You were only allowed to rest for a few second before urge hands stroked your face, bringing you back.

 

“You’re my reason.” The words were spoken so low you almost wouldn’t have been able to hear then had your pleasure not made your every sense heighten to incredible ability.

 

Connor, the staunch officer. Connor, the curious geek. Connor, the loving basketball coach. Connor, the fucking revolutionary wanted you. You weren’t sure if it was the soft look in his eyes, his slightly trembling hands, or the unmistakable throbbing dick poised on your thigh, but all of your doubts from earlier seemed to vanish. In his own way, he felt a longing for you that matched your own. A desire so bad it could almost terrified you. But if could give himself to you like this, so open and giving and _raw_ , you could give yourself to him too. And by the looks of it, he means to take you for himself very soon.

**Author's Note:**

> Men are trash, am I right? Except Connor.
> 
> Also I love love love epilogues and while the one we got was okay, I need more. Such a cool world they built, need to see more. PS sorry to any cult pagans out there, I'm sure you're wonderful people.


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